So, I am here in my dressing room on the set of CYBERPUNX... 

I have no other line to say after that.  Maybe I just wanted to let you know that I was on the set.  Maybe I just wanted to let you know that I was a working actor.  Cause normally when someone starts off a sentence with...so, I was at the store the other day...you are expecting something.  What?  What happened when you were at the store?  Something must have happened or you wouldn't have started off the conversation like that.  What happened on the set...why am I telling you this?  Actually, I do have a point, I think, my point is my costume.  My wardrobe.  What I have on...if you saw what I had on right now, you would laugh me out of the world.  I have a medium size wife beater with black stripes and the number one on it and a pair of shorts that are waaaaaaaaaaaay too small that almost have my stuff showing.  I knew I had something to say about that.

But, let's forget all of that...it is time to get retrospective...hmmm, is that the word I am looking for?  I am not sure.  Introspective?  Whatever.  Let's get some kind of 'ospective up in this joint.  Seriously, though, this public journal has gone to a level that I never wanted.  I used to write in my private journal everyday and it was the most deepest of my secrets.  It freed me.  I would be lying if I said that writing in my public journal didn't free me now, cause it most definitely does.  Sometimes I just want more, though.  I am greedy like that.  I tried to start doing that here, writing with more substance...if you look back at the older ones, you will see, I was being a little too open about certain stuff.  Nah, I take that back.  I don't have the real old journals that I first started out writing on the Internet.  Hmmm, where are those?  But, anyhoo, I had to stop most of my deepest thoughts, cause they were putting allllllllllllllllllllllllllll my business out there.  And that was cool, when it was just me.  But now I have a wife and kid and it ain't cool to be telling folks I have gingivitis, anymore.

So, I started to write a little lighter.  I started focusing on other aspects of my life and wrote about them.  I still slipped in a few deeper topics here in there, but mostly I kept it surface.  Just like I keep my conversations.  I hate that about me.  I want to be a deeper person when I engage in conversations with people.  But, I have been so shallow for so long that no one really takes me seriously.  Unless I am talking about the Lord.  People know that I don't play about that topic.  But even then...even then, I need to delve deeper into the spirituality of the word, when I discuss my Lord.  Something is holding me back.  I need to break through the door and just be deeper in general.  I am a very "not swim in the deep end" type of person. 

Yea, so I kinda lost my point, but my point WAS (I think)...that I used to be a lot more in depth in my journal writing and I miss that a little bit.  Maybe not so much, when I talk to you all, but just in general.  Maybe I should start my private journal back up again.  But, I have so many "maybes" in my closet, that it is overflowing with them.  Cause maybe I have no idea where I am going with this.  Maybe I am just talking to pass the time in between shots.  Cause on the set, you WILL be waiting.  Yesterday, I waited all day and did not shoot one scene.  I love it, though.  I love really, really working.  I love the two directors, I love the fact that I am here.  Maybe I just wanted someone to talk to right now.  Maybe I just called my wife and she didn't pick up the phone cause her phone is tripping.  Maybe I am just tired of sitting in this tight shirt and tight shorts and having everyone look at me like I really wear this everyday...I don't know. 

Maybe I am just crazy.

Bless me indeed and enlarge my territory.  Keep your hands on me and keep me from my enemies so that I may cause no pain.  Halleluyah.  Thank you, Jesus.

Keep it Natural.