On this early, early Monday morning, I want you to know that this journal had gone through some major transformations in my head.  It started being written in my mind about Friday.  I was confused about life.  I always am...sorta.  I really don't have a handle on it.  I act like I do, but I don't.  It is all good.  It's okay.  Nothing serious.  It was a long time ago when I started to get a handle on knowing that I don't have a handle on things.  So, that wasn't really the issue.  My mind was more on why was there evil in the world and why do I contribute to it.  Am I evil?  I remember this poem that this young lady read a long time ago about how she was afraid that she was fake and that her real self was about to come out and people wouldn't like her.  It was a strange, yet a beautiful poem.  She cried every time she read it.  I didn't really get it.  But as I am older, I sorta get what she was talking about.  What if people knew the real me?  Who is the real me?  What if I knew the real me? What if they knew all of my thoughts and all of my skeletons and all of my business?  Would I still be cool?   I mean, I am not exactly sure if I am cool now, but...that is neither here nor there.  Would you still like me?  So, that was it.  Nothing major.  I just had some basic concerns and wanted some basic answers.  Nothing life threatening.  I wasn't about to kill myself or nothing.  Just asking questions. 

But then, on Sunday...yes, Sunday morning...a brother like me stepped into church.  Man, I was excited.  I hadn't been in two weeks.  I was in Atlanta last week on my way to being famous and then the week before that I was at a Poetry festival in the Bay.  So, you can imagine how geeked I was (and yes, I said geeked!) about THIS SUNDAY.  And church gave me serenity.  Pastor Chuck didn't speak, but his wife did and I heard the word that was spoken to me loud and clear. 

Joshua 24:15

15 And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

This is one of my favorite scriptures in the Bible..."But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."  This is all I need to do.  All that other bull-crap can go out my window.  This house...my house...the one I live in and pay the mortgage on every month...you all can do what you want...I pray that you will follow the Lord, but I can't put a gun to your head...as for me...and my family, sitting up in my house...hahahaha...we will serve the Lord...HALLELUYAH! 

This is why church is so dope and so needed.  I know these things.  I go to church and a lot of things I already know in my heart.  But, I am human and need to be reminded every now and again.  Often more times than not.  And church does that for me.  I am reminded how to live right.  I am reminded how to follow the Lord.  I am reminded I am a child of GOD.  I need that.  I don't know about you, but I need that.  I don't get that in the world.  A lot of people call poetry readings church...nah, don't get it twisted...poetry readings may be very, very very therapeutic and healing...but it ain't church.  Church is church.

So anyhoo, Sunday afternoon, after church...the journal changed into a message of hope and encouragement.  Cause I was encouraged.  I tend to write in the moment.  I was gonna get on my soapbox (I am not sure what exactly that means, but I say it all the time) and talk about church and how I found my Bible (yes, I found my Bible) and all the wonderful blessings and beautiful things about our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.  But, Sunday night...oh, Lord Sunday night.  Why did I have to watch a fricken Laker game before I sat down to write...man...the Lakers take me through roller coaster rides.  I am not as bad as I used to.  Back in the day, if the Lakers lost, I couldn't even talk to you.  You best get out of my face, cause I was not about to have a conversation with you.  Now I am calmer.  A little.  The point is, I still get quite upset when the Lakers lose.  ESPECIALLY WHEN IN THE FIRST HALF WE WERE UP BY 12 AND BY THE END OF THE THIRD WE WERE DOWN BY 12.  AHEM.  Sorry about that.  Well, we lost and I was contemplating about even writing anything.  All my thoughts went to writing a journal about how the LAKERS SUCK!!!  But, I took a deep breath and wrote this instead...I am glad I did.  I am glad I did.   

Bless me indeed and enlarge my territory.  Keep your hands on me and keep me from my enemies so that I may cause no pain...halleluyah.

Keep it Natural.