I tried to fight it.  I really did.  It is late and I really wanted to get this Fresno movie project done.  Instead I ended up going to the hospital because of my stupid blood pressure.  178/110!!!  Maybe it was so high cause I was screaming at the top of my lungs for like the whole entire LAKERS game.  GOOOOOOO FISHER!!!  I am huge fan.  I mean, back in the day, I couldn’t even watch the game without leaving it being severely affected.  If we lost, you best not talk to me for the rest of the night!  I took losses personally.   I never really did go get help for that.  Yes, I was crazy!  Am crazy?  Whatever crazy?!?!!?  But that is neither here nor there,   I am home from the hospital.  My blood pressure is back to normal.  I have a million things that I need to be do right now.  Sleep is one of them.  But, I really need to write. 

Writing is a stress releaser for me.  And “releaser” is not even a word.  For the life of me, I don't understand why I don't do it more.  Time is one reason.  But I have no number two reason.  Writing releases the stress demons like kids going outside to play.  The kids always come back in.  But, I need to leave stress outside the doorway.  Check my frustrations at the front door.  Maybe I can slip out the back unnoticed, leaving stress high and dry.  It will find me though.  Cause my heart is an open book.  And just when I am not looking, stress creeps in like a thief in the night.  Takes over the pages of my life and causes anxiety to interrupt my sleep.  Then I wake up groggily.  Is that a word?  Yell at my wife and then my children…in that order.   Then when I am alone, I am yell at myself…get frustrated over every little thing and end of going to bed mad at the world…asking GOD why he brought me to this forsaken planet.  
 
All of this just makes me fat with tension, overweight with concerns and have a stomach filled with trauma.  On my shoulder there is the hassle monster that laughs at me all day long, which in turn gets me more strain.  Forget Jenny Craig…I need a stress diet.  I need to cut back on the plates of Constant Worries.  Stop ordering the KING SIZE of Pressure.  And just let it be.  It is killing me.  I don’t even have to go out to the FAST STRESS Restaurants…I have the pain delivered right to my front door.  And as painful as it is…I keep ordering more.  I can’t stop.  I stress like stressing is the right thing to do.  I act like GOD doesn’t have all of this under control.  I treat life like I am not gonna win.  And that is why I am losing.  I need to cut stress out of my diet.  Cut it out of my life like salt.  Can I have an order of joy with no stress, please?  Oh that will be an extra five-minute wait?  Guess what I am waiting!  Cause I want my joy to be hot and fresh so it can last longer.   

I say all of this…but the problem is, I have no idea how to go about doing this.  How do I cut stress out of my life? So, this is why I couldn’t sleep tonight before I had to write. 

But as for me and my house...we will serve the LORD.

Keep it Natural.

I don't know you, never met you in passing (at least I don't think so) but we're FB friends and since your blog, you've been on my mind. Two years ago I was a millionaire - literally, today I was at the welfare office with 2 of my 4 children and I did all I had to do not to break down. One of those things was to think of you. You have so much your working on, and your health made you take a pause. Thank God your alright, let's keep it that way. The way I see it, the worlds gonna keep spinning, either we dig in and keep ourselves grounded or fly off. What's it gonna be? My step back will catapult me beyond my past status, and it'll be another chapter in my story. God bless you, keep it healthy!

Uhhh, I am speechless. I have no words. I just so happen to be writing in my journal today and saw this. I don't write as much as I used to, or else I would have seen it a long time ago. may you forever be blessed with your words to me. Adn may GOD use this opportunity to bring you closer to and restore your relationship with HIM. And like many in the Bible...restore your riches. YOU ARE AMAZING! Thank you. Again, I don't know what to say, so I pray that I said what I meant to say...ughh...that didn't make sense.

My typing is terrible. forgive all my grammatical errors.