Cowabunga!  Wait a minute!  Is “Cowabunga” a good thing?  I need another word like that…that means not such a good thing.  I have been trying to finish up this poem for days now and the ending is just not coming to me.  I am not sure what it is.  I hardly ever have this much trouble with my words and what I want to say.  The Lord blesses me in that way.  They just flow out of my brain and onto the computer screen and the next thing you know BAM…another masterpiece.  Hahaha.   Well, they all are masterpieces to me.  But this last one…I don’t know what it is…but I can’t seem to get it the way I like.  I had to stop writing right now and start journaling, cause I didn’t want to waste another free moment of time being stuck.  I have to write.  SOMETHING.

I waste so much time being upset.  It makes me upset that I spend so much time being upset.  And the things that make me happy, I don’t do enough.  I love reading the Bible.  It frees my mind and restores patience and love and kindness to my soul.  I love the feeling I have after I read.  It spills out of me and the next thing you know I am smiling and laughing with my friends and family like a normal person.  But these times don’t often as much as I would like.  You would think that I would read more. 

I love writing.  Just about the same feeling I get from reading the WORD, I get from releasing my mind onto the paper.  Both give me a spiritual release.  It seems like whenever I let it go on paper, I let it go in my life.  My wife was laughing at me the other day when I told her I was going to write in my journal.  She was like …”don’t go write cause then you are gonna say how sad you are.”  This is sad, but true.  Since I write to release, it seems I am only writing during my down times.  Which are a lot…but it helps me.  You would think that I would even do it more…

It’s 6:18 in the morning and my daughter was sleeping in the bed with me and kicking me in the head on a constant basis.  So, I am up.  Writing.  Thinking.  Crying inside.  Wondering why.  Praying about it.  Worried that my wife is gonna read this and be worried about me.  She is special.  She really is.  If I had her attitude, I would be okay.  She worries a lot less than me.  She is mad a lot less than me.  She loves a lot MORE than me.  I dream to be more like her.  Except her crazy part…cause she is crazy.  But “you take the good, you take the bad, you put it all together and you have the FACTS OF LIFE…ahh, remember that show?  Some of you are probably too young to remember good shows.  Hahaha.  Now the TV world consists of fake reality.

Speaking of TV, ughhh.  Yea, that is what I think when you mention TV.  I remember the guy who plays my brother on my new sitcom that will be coming out soon told me that his wife doesn’t like when he is not working, cause he is miserable.  I can so relate.  I am totally miserable when I am not working.  And maybe I should have added that to my list of things that refresh and renew me.  WORK.  Woa, not regular work.  No, I’m lazy as a Billy goat.  I am talking about the kind of work I love.  ACTING.  When I am not acting, I am a menace to my society.  I am terrible.  I can’t sleep, I can’t smile.  I can’t laugh.  I can’t eat…ahem…I take that back.  I can eat.  There is hardly ever a time when I CAN’T eat.  But, basically, I am miserable.  When he said that to me, I could totally relate.  I don’t think many people understand that about actors.  This is what we do.  And if we aren’t doing what we LOVE to do…we are miserable.  I need help with that.  I guess I just need to shut up and read the Bible more…and write more…then I could laugh more…smile more…not be such a burden on my wife and kids more…love more…be more.

But as for me and my house,  we will serve the Lord.

My workshops begin July 28th @ Da' Poetry Lounge

Keep it Natural.   

I tried to fight it.  I really did.  It is late and I really wanted to get this Fresno movie project done.  Instead I ended up going to the hospital because of my stupid blood pressure.  178/110!!!  Maybe it was so high cause I was screaming at the top of my lungs for like the whole entire LAKERS game.  GOOOOOOO FISHER!!!  I am huge fan.  I mean, back in the day, I couldn’t even watch the game without leaving it being severely affected.  If we lost, you best not talk to me for the rest of the night!  I took losses personally.   I never really did go get help for that.  Yes, I was crazy!  Am crazy?  Whatever crazy?!?!!?  But that is neither here nor there,   I am home from the hospital.  My blood pressure is back to normal.  I have a million things that I need to be do right now.  Sleep is one of them.  But, I really need to write. 

Writing is a stress releaser for me.  And “releaser” is not even a word.  For the life of me, I don't understand why I don't do it more.  Time is one reason.  But I have no number two reason.  Writing releases the stress demons like kids going outside to play.  The kids always come back in.  But, I need to leave stress outside the doorway.  Check my frustrations at the front door.  Maybe I can slip out the back unnoticed, leaving stress high and dry.  It will find me though.  Cause my heart is an open book.  And just when I am not looking, stress creeps in like a thief in the night.  Takes over the pages of my life and causes anxiety to interrupt my sleep.  Then I wake up groggily.  Is that a word?  Yell at my wife and then my children…in that order.   Then when I am alone, I am yell at myself…get frustrated over every little thing and end of going to bed mad at the world…asking GOD why he brought me to this forsaken planet.  
 
All of this just makes me fat with tension, overweight with concerns and have a stomach filled with trauma.  On my shoulder there is the hassle monster that laughs at me all day long, which in turn gets me more strain.  Forget Jenny Craig…I need a stress diet.  I need to cut back on the plates of Constant Worries.  Stop ordering the KING SIZE of Pressure.  And just let it be.  It is killing me.  I don’t even have to go out to the FAST STRESS Restaurants…I have the pain delivered right to my front door.  And as painful as it is…I keep ordering more.  I can’t stop.  I stress like stressing is the right thing to do.  I act like GOD doesn’t have all of this under control.  I treat life like I am not gonna win.  And that is why I am losing.  I need to cut stress out of my diet.  Cut it out of my life like salt.  Can I have an order of joy with no stress, please?  Oh that will be an extra five-minute wait?  Guess what I am waiting!  Cause I want my joy to be hot and fresh so it can last longer.   

I say all of this…but the problem is, I have no idea how to go about doing this.  How do I cut stress out of my life? So, this is why I couldn’t sleep tonight before I had to write. 

But as for me and my house...we will serve the LORD.

Keep it Natural.

When will I learn?  I feel like I am the kid that keeps putting his hand on the oven and always getting burned.  When am I gonna stop touching the hot oven?  Even as I type this, I am doing the same thing...I am reaching for the oven.  I went to bed hecka late last night...knowing that I had to get up early.  So, how was my atitude?  Funky!  And I don't mean...SPOKEN FUNK-Y.  I mean...just plain stank.  It didn't help that the day was just WHATEVER.  Lost my phone...my TV, landline phone and my fricken internet was off.  And I didn't hear the greatest news at my wife's doctor's appointment.  Ughhh.


All of these things made up for a pretty lousy day.  It ended pretty well, though.  I got a new phone.  And then I came home and found my old one.  But, I found out I can sell that mug on ebay for a pretty good price.  Why do people want the 2g phone again?  Whatever is clever.  Whatever that means.   I chilled with my children for a just a little bit before it was time for them to go to sleep and then I watched the end of Celebrity Apprentice with my wife.  So glad Joan won.  I know I am late, but doggone it, I finally watched it.  I asked Juren what are we gonna do now?  All of our shows are off.  No more American Idol and no more Celebrity Apprentice.  Maybe we can gt back to watching the Office.

So, anyway, back to the stupid oven again.  I am reaching and about to be so close from touching it again.  How many times can I get burned?  It is late again and I am up again on the computer.  To my defense, I hadn't been on allllllllll day.  I had a lot of work to do.  But, the truth of the matter is I have to drive to San Louis Obisbo tomorrow and then perform that night.  I have a pretty long day.  What am I doing up?  Go to bed, Poetri.  Go to Bed. 

Why do I care to waste another day being FUNKY.  I dang near cussed some folks out today.  The folks at Best Buy who almost didn't take my camera back.  The rental car company people who said I have to have a major credit card instead of my debit card and fricken Verizon for turning off all my stuff.  Yea, I was pretty pissed today.  And it all stems from a lack of rest.

It also stems from my lack of GOD.  Yea, I am not getting my fix.  I am not getting high off the LORD.  I have been slacking.  Backsliding.  Tripping on the devil's shoelaces.  I need to get back to glory.  Get back to prayer.  Get back to worship.  Get back to concentrating on what is important.  The only thing that is important.  GOD.  The one and only. 

I pray, Lord that my trip tomorrow is a safe and fun one.  I pray that I am well rested to give my best performance.  I pray that I touch lives all along the way to the stage.  I pray that I encourage someone to turn to you, Lord.  I pray that I encourage myself to turn BACK to you, Lord.  I pray that I pray.  Please allow me to pray.  Let me get back on it.  Allow me to read the Bible and really study your word tomorrow.  Halleluyah.  Thank you, Jesus for your paitience with me.  I know that I am a handful.  But, since you can do all things, I am piece of cake to you.  Enjoy me tomorrow.  Allow me to make you smile.  Use me.  Change me.  Help me.  Give me strength.  Halleluyah.  Let this not be the last time I talk to you.  Let's have an ongoing conversation tomorrow and for all the rest of the days of my life.  Thank you, Jesus.  Thank you for all things. 

These and all other blessings I ask in your name...Jesus name...AMAN!

But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

Keep it Natural.  

I rarely have a big ego.  I mean, there are sometimes when I get that one guy who comes up to me out the blue and tells me that he saw me on this show or that and my head starts to swell a little bit...but never too long.  I have a wife to pop my bubbles when they got too big.  But, most times, before she gets a chance to dig in her purse to find her pin, I have already popped it.  This stupid human thing that I happen to be a part of always seems to put me in my place.  Hi, my name is Poetri and I am human.

Being human already makes me NOT perfect.  I can't get a big head when I can't even control the thoughts that go on inside of it.  My body runs me.  And I know that this is not the way that it is supposed to be.  I am suppossed to be running things.  Running around the block, at least once a week.  But, I run to the cabinet and grab some snack, before I run out of ideasm on how to stop doing that.  I can't stop eating for the life of me.  I mean, literally.  I have high blood pressure and one thing is for sure...if I eat right...my blood pressure should go down.  And you know what, for four weeks, maybe three, I did that.  I ate healthy.  But, my body rejects healthy.  IT HATES HEALTHY.  So, just like the last time I ate healthy for four weeks, I jumped right back on the gravy train eating green eggs and ham...with sweet potato bread and a fruit punch to swallow it alllllll down.  Man, that is good. 

Then I go to my room and fall asleep on a big old fat stomach and a guilty mind.  Guilty pleasures are my habit.  They are supossed to be once in awhile.  My once in awhile comes around every day and while I am eating on that, I am thinkg about what I am gonna eat the next day...man...Lord, you have to help me some way...cause this eating may just kill me someday. 

Someone else needs to pray, cause I am not sure if I am doing it right.  Maybe someone that knows GOD more intimately than I, can throw a word in for I, cause "I" is about to die if I eat another fricken apple pie or maybe just one more french fry...why?  Why can't I stop eating?  Don't I care about living?  Don't I care about Journey and Genesis?  Don't I care about my wife?  Shoot, don't I care about myself?  Don't I, yet, have things to do here on this earth, yet my drug is easier to get than most drugs...so my high is acheived more often.  I have to eat to survive, but I am eating more than my share.  I don't quite get it.  All I can do is write and pray about it.  GOD will hear my cry one day.  ANd HE will deem me ready to stop this...right after I figure out how to stop the other problems that I have...yes, being hungry all the time is just one of my 99 problems.  One day, I will be free...one day...I won't eat...

But as for me and myhouse...we will serve the LORD.

Keep it Natural.

I finally made it here safely.  Whew.  I sit here in the Howard Johnson inn...safe sound and secure.  The next 24 hours is going to be hectic and incredible.  Halleluyah.  Thank you, Jesus.  I so wonder why HE chose me for this...and yet, when big things in my life DON'T happen I complain and wonder aloud why HE hasn't done something big for me.  This is the confusion I call my life. 

The devil is a big reason for that.  He is so good at his trickery, he takes happy moments and times in my life and somehow gets me to concentrate on the negative.  And when I grab ahold of that...geeesh, it is over.  Just ask my wife.  She will tell you.  Ask my two year old...she will tell you.  You could even probably ask my five month old...yep...she will spit up on you and then probably spit a dope poem about how her daddy is crazy.  I need to control the devil.  I need to let him know who runs this body...not him.  ME. 

Take today for example.  Here I am about to embark on one of the biggest days of my life...MEETING THE FRICKEN PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA...THE FIRST BLACK ONE, AT THAT.  And I have the audacity to be discouraged.  I shouldn't be discouraged for one doggone minute. What do I have to be discouraged about?  Don't ask me, cause I type out a list...but this particular reason was probably the most outrageous. 

I am shooting a documentary.  I am following myself around on this journey to the White House.  It has been cool.  Today at the airport, there were a lot of people around watching me film myself...folks were asking me questions and stuff.  I suddenly got this feeling in my gut that I wasn't real.  That I was acting.  And when I turned the camera on all day today, I felt like I was putting on a show.  Performing.  And this is not what I want to do with this documentary.  I am an out going, crazy person.  All who know me, know that is true.  But, I have another side that is serious.  You hardly ever get to see that...cause I am always on.  The red light is always on and I am always in front of the camera of the eyes of America.  But, I am doing this documentary so that my kids can look at it and see their REAL dad meeting Barack Obama.  This is not a show.  This is not a game.  It is real.  I want to be as honest as possible and today I felt in my heart that I was performing for the people in the airport and I got discouraged. 

The devil is good, I tell you.  Cause that led to me thinking am I am good daddy to my children...am I a good husband.  I hustle so much to keep food on the table...I wonder if I am putting enough time into my family.  Will my daughters grow up saying...yea, daddy was around, but not really present in our lives?  So, here I am getting ready to go meet the first black president and I am on the plane crying.  Sad.  Mad.  Discouraged.  How does this happen?

This time...this story has a happy ending.  I picked up the Bible that I almost forgot to bring and started reading.  Really reading and studying the WORD.  I read the Bible allllll the time, but I hardly take the time to study it, really pray about what I read and really try to understand what GOD is telling me.  I need to do that more often.  Cause I came off the plane refreshed.  Even though, it was real late cause we left an hour or two later than we were suppossed to, I was happy.  Even though, in the cab, we got lost...I wasn't nearly as upset and worried as I would have been.  God protected me.  HE is good like that.  Halleluyah.  Now I am about to go to bed...JOYOUS.  And then wake up ready to see the 44th president.  Ready to shake his hand.  Ready to drop a poem if need be.  Ready to be me...the honest to goodness me...yay.

But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

Keep it natural.

I got a text from a friend of mine that told me that I was about to get the biggest phone call of my life.  I, at first, thought it was a forward.  You know those emails that talk about nothing.  Well, now they have gone into the text world.  But, then I looked again at it...and really concentrated on who it was from.  My man, Donny.  Donny wouldn't send out no mess.  He is not that type of cat.  I picked up my phone to call him and to see what the hec he was talking about.  Why do I have a voicemail?  I didn't hear my phone ring.  Okay, lemme see who it is.  The number says Unknown.  Weird.  Might be a bill collector.  They be tricking me at all times.  But, lemme just see who this is...and then I will call Donny.

It's all kinda sketchy now.  I have told it a million times now.  It surely has changed from what really happened now.  I remember words like White House.  Invite.  Spoken Word.  Obama You.  Tuesday.  Wait...what?  Did I hear that right?  I played it back so my wife could hear it and I heard the same words...a few more this time.  COME...WOULD...YOU...LIKE...TO.  Hecky, yea.  I called the man back faster than speeding bullet.  Yosi answered the phone politely and calmly asked if I could hold on.  It seemed like hours.  Thirty seconds later he came back and repeated words similiar to what I had heard on my answering machine.  But this time I picked up more.  WOULD I LIKE TO COME OUT TO THE WHITE HOUSE AND WATCH THE VERY FIRST SPOKEN WORD PERFORMANCE SHOW HELD IN THE WEST WING.  (Or maybe it was the East Wing) YOU WOULD BE A PERSONAL GUEST OF PRESIDENT OBAMA.  I WAS SPECIALLY INVITED BY THE WHITE HOUSE ALONG WITH BEYONCE, JAY Z, MARY J. BLIGE, NATILIE PORTMAN AND A SLEW OF OTHER CELEBRITIES TO WITNESS HISTORY.  SPOKEN WORD AT THE WHITE HOUSE. 

I told him yes, before he could finish asking.  I told him yes, before I could finish gasping.  I might have even told him yes, before I called him back.  The only thing I hate is that my wife, my confidant, my friend and the one I share all good news and times with could not come.  The invite was just for one.  This wasn't like a club where it was me plus one.  Ughh.  I am not totally sure why I was blessed to be one of the one hundred guests.  I am not sure what I did to deserve this on a human level AND dang sure know that I didn't do anything to deserve this on a spiritual level.  Why has GOD blessed me so?  I thank HIM from the bottom of my heart cause this is a day I will rememeber always.  

It has actually been quite an amazing week.  This tops it off, though.  So, I will talk about the other things at a later date.  Right now, I got to think about the suit I am  gonna look fly in.  The haircut, I am gonna bust out with and the shoes...oh..I got to have some fly shoes to step in to the White House.  And words...oh yea, I have to have words.  I am not a star struck type of person (unless it is Michael Jackson) but President Obama is not a star.  He is THE FRICKEN PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.  THE FIRST BLACK ONE, AT THAT.  Oh, yes, I have to have my words right, before I sound like Elmer Fudd when I talk to him.

But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

Keep it natural.      

I don't mean poem in the sense of the word that we learned in elementary.  I believe poems are so much deeper than that meaning.  We are all walking poems...and GOD is the writer.  HE is the great POET.  Watch the flowers grow and the trees sway in the wind and tell me it does not look poetic at times.  Look at our lives.  We seem to walk in and out of verses straight out of a novel.  We can't believe the things that happen to us.  Some so unbelievably bad and other times wonderfully (is that a word) great.  Our lives are words that GOD has penned for us a looooong time ago.  And all of GOD's poems are good.  They are better than good.  They are better than great.  They are too big to be contained on a stage or a FACEBOOK page.  They are individually wrapped for us.  So, this is what I mean by poem.  You are an imaculate, beautiful, strong, crafted piece of work.  You are GOD's poem.

And on this day, Patricia, I was sent to tell you this.  I am so sorry that I missed your message.  I am late, but with GOD I am right on time.  Today is the day that you are suppossed to be getting this.  I would be a bold face liar if I sat up here and told you that I do not understand what you are going through.  Yes, my situation is different, but the loss feeling of hope is the same.  And currently...our blood pressure is the same.  Mine is not as high, but it was high enough to land me in a hospital a few weeks back.  What I found out was that we cannot lose hope.  Somedays that is all we got to hold onto and when we lose that, we start thinking crazy like suicide. 

The funny thing is that we can never really lose hope.  It is kinda like our keys.  We set them down somewhere and just forgot where we set them down.  But if we think about it...HOPE is right where we left it.  Not on the kitchen counter, not in the bedroom, not on the floor behind the sink in the bathroom upstairs...but in our hearts.  Hope is right there...just look.  It is right beside all the other things our Lord and Saviour gave us.  Don't you see it.  Hope is next to Courage.  Behind Strength.  Over to the right from Love.  Kitty Corner from Joy.  In GOD's poem HE has given all of these things and more...we just have to look right where we left it.

I prayed for you this morning and I will continue to pray.  And you keep me posted through however you feel like...FACEBOOK wall, email or even a phone call, if need be.  But, please make sure you keep me posted on your status.  I want to hear from you often.  And if I don't get back to you right away, don't take it as a meaning that I am not praying for you.  I am little slow sometimes.  But, GOD is not through with me yet...and HE dang sure ain't through with you.  So, don't go trying to finish something GOD has started behind HIS back.  You have work to do.  It seems like the task is in incredible now, but HE gave you all the tools to do the job.  Just look in your heart.  Yay.

Stay encourged and blessed.  

But as for me and my house, we will serve teh LORD.

Keep it natural.

I really should be sleeping right now.  I really should be sleeping right now.  Maybe if I say it enough times, I will go do it.  I really should be sleeping right now.  And the thing is, I am tired.  But, the computer is like cocaine to me.  FACEBOOK is like CRACK.  I used to think food was Crack, but I have changed that assumption since I joined the cult known as FACEBOOK.  I am so glad that I am not addicted to the HERION known as TWITTER.  I mean, I would never sleep, eat or walk.  I have a TWITTER thingy and all, matter of fact, if you want to follow me, (whatever that means) my TWITTER name is POETRISMITH.  Or if you want to further my career, you can just get a camera and follow me around that way.  We can call it THE LIFE AND TIMES OF POETRI.  I think it will be a major hit.  

I really should be sleeping right now.  Maybe I am not cause I am still mad at the stupid guy at the cell phone place.  Man, I don't have the energy to re-live that tale.  But, just know that he pissed me off.  I wanted to punch him in the face.  And I am not violent.  Unless, I count the many violent things I do to my own body.  I guess that wouldn't be a great image to have the cameras filiming...me knocking the cell phone guy out.  I really should be sleeping. 

Maybe, I can't sleep cause my wife and I just watched a GREAT episode of CELEBRITY APPRENTICE.  Am I a punk for loving this show?  I am mad that I didnt' watch it before.  And also...AMERICAN IDOL.  Scott should have been kicked off a long time ago.  I feel so late, but I am loving these two shows.  My wife and I tape them and stay up late watching and analyzing them.  Yea, maybe I should go to sleep.  I have to get up early to take Genesis to her ballet class.  And I don't want to be screaming at her on the way to fricken ballet class.  That is not very daddy like. And also not a pretty picture that should be caught on camera.  WHAT KIND OF DAD IS HE, ANYWAY?  She loves that class.  I also don't want to be late for that class.  I mean, I don't want to be late for any of her classes.  Those classes make a grown man like myself punctual.  The classes are only 45 minutes long.  If you are running late for those classes, you might as well forget it.  You get there twenty minutes late, you have missed half the class.  And then you stand there feeling stupid as all the other parents are looking at you, cause you brought your daughter late tot he class.  Ughh.  I hate that.  I think they should be 45 minutes plus a 20 minute grace period.

I really should be sleeping right now, but doggone it, the page is calling me.  Writing is calling me.  Anything is calling me except what should be calling me.  Which reminds me, I don't get any calls anymore.  My phone used to ring off the hook, like I was WIll Smith or something.  Now no one calls me like I am William Hung.  Call me.  Please someone call me.  I wish I could call me and leave myself a messege.  You have no idea how good I feel when I see that some one other than a bill colector calls me and leaves a message.  It is crazy.  I get no calls.  My wife on the other hand has to get a new phone, cause this one is broken on the account that it rings too much.  She is always on the phone.  She will deny it if you ask her, but she is...she really is.  People like her for some reason.  lol

Okay, I think I am done.  I really should be sleeping...did I mention my daughter has ballet in the morning?

But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.

Keep it Natural.

Hey, Party People.  I have some news for you.  The economy is not stopping so I can't stop.  HAHAHA.  I was trying to think of a cool analogy and I am not sure if I accomplished that, but doggone it, you know what I mean.  A brother is on the grind like coffee.  Hey, that was good.   The truth of the matter is, I am working on my game.  I see other actors and artists doing everything that they can to make it.  I used to sit back and think that my talent was gonna get me where I needed to be.  After all, I am a talented brother.  But having talent alone is not paying the billz.  And since I have a toddler that wants to eat EVERYDAY and now a newborn that seems like she is gonna be the same way, I have to evolve.  Evolve like Planet Earth (wow, that is another good one) I have to change my game plan or get out.

So, I started this petition that many of you have signed already.  I am trying to get 1,000 signatures and send it to TYLER PERRY and his people and his people's people.  My goal is to have him look at it and see all the wonderful people that took time out of their schedule to sign it for me to be back on the show as MARVIN THE CABLE GUY.  I have no reason to think that he didn't love my episode.  He is just TYLER PERRY, the busiest man in Hollywood right now.  I just need to remind him and get his attention, that's all.  Now, I am not crazy, well, maybe just a little, but I am not putting all my eggs in one basket on hopes that this will work.  I know that this is a long shot.  I am just trying to do ALLLLLLL I can.  I no longer want to say I didn't try.  I may have another crazy idea after this one.  I can't stay still anymore.  My family depends on it.  My mortgage, food on the table, clothes on Genesis's and Journey's back, my wife's health...all rely on it.  I have to do what I can to make it.  Please sign my petition.  Help me get to 1,000!  Here is the link: